Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Drake has all the answers
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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