I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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