every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize