I want to have your abortion
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
