Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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