My girlfriend figured out who you are.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
