I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
