so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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