Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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