yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
