he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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