so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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