Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
