I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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