im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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