By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
