I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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