Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
