i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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