Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
