my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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