CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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