Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
