I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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