Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
