i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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