think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize