I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
I think she lost me at about the point where the words โIce Cream Enemaโ were spoken.
Randomize
