sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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