If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
