last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
