he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
