Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
did i walk over a car last night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
