Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
