I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
