are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
