this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
