This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize