Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
