i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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