Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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