I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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