so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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