I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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