I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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