Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize