i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
