i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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