Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She bit a glass in half.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
