So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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