pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
