Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
