Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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