I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
