but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
