Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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