well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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