Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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