Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize