im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
