who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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