u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
