so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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