the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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