Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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