It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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